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About Me

So you want to know about? There is so much and yet, I guess so little.

Status: Pre-op female (Yes I plan on having surgery as soon as I can afford it or someone decides to help me pay for it.)

Marital Status: Divorced and looking

Sexual Orientation: Does it really matter? OK so I consider my self to be a heterosexual female but I am open and if its meant to be, it's meant to be.

Relationship: I am in a pretty good relationship with a guy that respects me, wants to be with me, and treats me like the woman I am. Who knows maybe someday church bells will ring for us, but only after I have my GRS

Age: 22 (I wish... I'm really much older. I'll give you a hint and lets see if you know your history. I can probably tell you what I was doing when John F. Kennedy was shot

Hair: My natural color is Brown with some natural auburn, but currently I have it dies a copper color

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5' 11 3/4"

Weight: Not skinny enough and I am not telling but I have recently lost 60 pounds from changing my diet. I plan on losing another 60 or more.

Nationality: American Mutt... Oh specific, Irish, German, and Fox Indian.

Job: Unemployed Computer tech and looking hard.

Education: 12th Grade High School Graduate and the School of Hard Knocks i.e. Life

Were do you see yourself in a year, 5 years, 10 years: In a year I really hope to be scheduled for my GRS and still living and working were I work now or at a better job. In 5 years, I plan on being female and having all my documents say female on them. I also hope to be in a LTR with someone who cares about me and accepts me for... well me. I also plan on having at least one of my boys living with me. In 10 years I plan on being a spouse to someone who loves me and I love them. I also think it would be cool to be traveling more and not just inside the U.S.A.

Positives: I love to dress nice (opposite before I transitioned) I try to think positive but don't always. Try to be open minded. I also try to be feminine by being myself and dressing the way I feel the most feminine.

Negatives: Perfectionist through and through. It may look good now but in 10 minutes I will hate it... Only if I did it though. Procrastinator. I love to have attention.

Favorite Color: I love Blues, Blacks, Greens, Maroons

Least Favorite Color: Yellow and Orange

Nicknames: Well I used to be called Bear but I don't like that now. I wonder why? Other than that I don't have one except what my friend Annah calls me "Metal Sister", or Toni at work calls me "Laney"

Favorite Things To Do: I love to go fishing, hiking, site seeing, motorcycles, movies, reading, studying history, seeing live music, playing games, photography, visiting historical places, Going to Renaissance Festivals, and most any girls favorite... shopping. I love rain storms and thunder. I love to sit under a shelter (porch) and watch it rain and listen to the thunder crack. Play Pen and Paper games D&D 3.5 is still my favorite and I play once a month with some people I grew up with) PC games

Least Favorite Things To Do: House cleaning (but I do it,) Yard work (depends on the yard work but once again I do it. I don't have a green thumb.) Driving in snow but I can do it well, Snow (I hate being cold) Sweat (I hate being over hot and smelly)

Favorite Food: I love good Mexican and Italian food, Home made fried chicken with mashed potatoes (not lumpy) and mushroom gravy. Dark Chocolate. Fried Shrimp, Oh and a farm favorite Rocky Mountain Oysters (Yes I know what they are)

Least Favorite Food: Sweet Peas (they are OK in the pod) I will pick out every pea in a soup or pot pie. I can taste a pea from a hundred miles away, Sour Kraut, cabbage burgers.

Favorite Snack: Chips and Salsa. I can go through a jar of salsa in 1 sitting if I set my mind to it. Dark and Extra Dark Chocolate.

Favorite Drink: Iced Tea and Milk, (It does a body good). If I do drink alcohol I like Micro Brew beer from new Belgium Brewing Company and O'Dells, Both from Colorado. Berry Wine Coolers, And White Zinfandel wine. But I usually don't drink and IF I do I have 1 and stop.

Least Favorite Drink: Any Hard Liquor

Favorite place to eat out at: Hu Hot it's a all you can eat fix it how you want it, cook it up in front of you Mongolian Buffet, Chipotle's for fast food, Santiago's XIV its a very good Mexican place with good Green Chili and Indian Taco's, Pan Handler Pizza when my kids wanted pizza and lastly Hunan's Chinese who have awesome Hot and Sour soup.

Least Favorite Place to Eat: McDonalds... YUK, Burger King... Gross.

Favorite Flower: Roses. I love getting small amounts like 3 at a time as I feel that's more romantic all of varying color. red for Love, Yellow for Friendship, White for Purity and sometimes Pink for Passion. Lilac as they smell so good

Least Favorite Flower: Daisies It must be the yellow ones I don't like that much. They remind me of Dandelions

Favorite Books/Arthur: LotR's, J. R. R. Tolkien, Tad Williams, Terry Brooks, Harry Potter books, Wrapped in Blue by Donna Rose, Battle Cry of Freedom, Shelby Foote, R. A. Salvatore

Favorite Movie: All three of the Lord of the Ring movies, The first three Star Wars Movies (Episode 4, 5, 6), Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean, Highlander I

Favorite Actor/Actress: Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Jane Seymor

Favorite Clothing: I love dresses (formal and casual) and skirts, But I do like to wear jeans and slacks. For shoes I love boots. For tops, anything really that looks cute. I also love to wear Denim and Leather (Hey that's a song by the metal band Saxon)

Favorite Music: I pretty much like most anything except Rap. I cannot stand Rap. Heavy Metal from Europe is my real favorite but I also get into Celtic and Classical music

Favorite Band or Musician: Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Stratovarius, Gamma Ray, Iced Earth, Kamelot, Black Sabbath, Threshold, Saxon, Shania Twain, Chris LeDoux, Dave Beegle (Local guitar player and my old guitar teacher), Loreena McKennitt

If I could look like any genetic girl who would I want to look like: There are so many but I'd say either Shania Twain, Kyla Cole, Young Jane Seymor, Kate Beckinsale, Amber Smith , Dita Van Teese or Katherane Zeta Jones.

If I could sing like any singer, who would I like to sing like? Shania Twain again, Simone Simons from Epica, Shanon Den Adel from Within Temptation, Amy Lee from Evanesance, Martina Mcbride

If I could play the guitar like anyone in the world who would I want to play like: Dave Beegle hands down. Dave is a guitar god and is an awesome person to boot.

Who are your Influences in Music: Well number one was my Granddad Wahl, But I'd have to say Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden, Rob "The Metal God" Halford of Judas Priest, all of Black Sabbath, and once again Dave Beegle

Turn on's: I love long hair on men and women. I find it sexy, Full lips, (I wish mine were fuller) People who smell good.

Turn Off's: Smelly people who have no personal hygiene. Arrogant people. People who treat me like a freak. People who think I am a sex toy for them.

Favorite Perfume: Nature Millionaire by Yves Rocher

Favorite place I'd like to visit or have visited: Ireland, Scotland and England, I have been to Germany on business and would love to go back there. New Zealand is another place I'd love to go. In the U.S.A. Any Civil War battlefield or a nice quit beach with someone I care about.

Something most do not know about me: I am a published computer scenario designer. I entered a contest for a PC wargame and won 2nd place. The company that made the game made a scenario expansion disk and placed 3 of my scenarios about the Civil War on it. They mentioned my name on the card credits. I have been on the radio 4 times with my old band. Once was a 30 minute interview, and once was live, The other two times were in local music hour on 2 of Denver's biggest rock stations.

Religion: Let's just say I believe in a higher being, and leave it at that.

Politics: I vote and I vote for who I feel will do the best job. Does it really matter if I am Republican or Democrat or Independent? At least I vote and that is what is important. I did not vote for G. W. B.

Favorite Time Period: The Medieval time period, The Renaissance, Age of Imperialism, The American Civil War, Western Expansionism, and the Time just before, during and after WWII. I find these times very interesting not to mention I love the clothing styles. I have many Renaissance gowns and clothing and would love to add a few from the American Civil War, and from the 1870's

Favorite subject in school: History hands down

Least Favorite subject in school: English! I hated that class and it shows in my grammar.

Favorite Sport: American Football, There is just something about it that I enjoy. I do not however watch it that much. I did coach youth football just before I started to transition. I wanted to do one last thing with one of my boys before I could not do it anymore. Softball. I managed a non-competitive softball team 4 years while I worked at HP. The last two years we made the championship and took 2nd, and the last year we won the championship, Fishing. Actually I don't look at it as a sport but just relaxing. I do catch and release only. Motor-X and X-Games. I love to watch both of these sports as they take a huge amount of endurance and skill.

Least Favorite Sport: Basketball. I just don't like it, I never played it and just never got into it. Auto racing. Watching cars go round, and round, and round the track to me gets real boring.

Sports played: American Football, Baseball, softball, wrestling (only in Jr. High School) Volleyball, Fencing in High School, Bull riding and Bare Back Bronc riding (Up until Sr. year in High School, it didn't fit my personality) and I coached youth Soccer and youth American football.

Favorite Sports Team: Oh Boy, I change often but right now I like the Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Carolina Panthers, Seattle Seahawks and that's about it. 

Least Favorite Team: I know I live in Colorado but The Broncos are that team.

Favorite quote: Well it used to be "Just Give me The Prize" spoken by the Kurgan in the 1st Highlander movie, Now is "Rock On", But I still love the Prize one OH and "Take Hold of the Flame" its a song by Queenrÿche.

Who do you admire most: My mom, Even though she makes me very angry and is not accepting of me, she still has done so much on her own. She raised three kids and helped take care of many grandkids in her day and still does. I would have to also say my two boys. As I think they are two of the smartest, brightest, talented two kids on the planet. But then again I am partial since they are my boys. Lastly I would say Donna Rose. The reason I say Donna is, she has done so much to educate this country on TG issues. To me she is the Martin Luther King of the TG community. Not to mention she has given me a ton of advice in a year since I started contacting her.

What's your favorite PC game? Neverwinter Nights, all of the Total War series (Shogun, Medieval and Rome I look forward to Medieval TW II), Half-life and Half-life 2, 

What's your favorite board game: Axis and Allies, Shogun, Risk, D&D 3.5

Other questions asked: 

1.) Do you still love your ex? A year ago I would have said yes, and I guess in some respects I do still love her, but it's not the same. We tend to not get along much anymore, which is sad and hurts my feelings. She is the mother of my children and I want her to be happy even though I wasn't the one that could make her happy, or at least now I don't.

2.) If you could have stayed with your ex, would you have done it? Only as long as I could express myself in the way I needed to. Does that mean transition? No I don't think so but it would have helped a lot if I could have.

3.) Would you go back to your ex if she would take you? I would have at one point, and who knows, maybe I still would but I doubt it. Right now I would say No because I am happy with the guy in my life right now. 

4.) If you decide that transitioning isn't for you, will you try to get back with your ex? Boy that's a tough one... Not sure as I think there has been to much pain in the relationship and I don't think it would happen, but to be optimistic I hope it would for my kids sake.

5.) Do you have any regrets? MILLIONS

5.5)What are they? To many to list as I said I had MILLIONS

6.) What would you change about your past? Nothing... Had I told my mom when I was 11 how I felt, I would not have the two greatest gifts ever given to me... my boys. Even though I have caused them a lot of pain, I would not change a thing now.

7.) Do you ever wish you would never have come out about being transsexual? Yes and No. Yes because I have caused a HUGE amount of pain and suffering to those I love. No because I was becoming a horrible person hiding from myself. I think had I not said or done something I would have done something very bad and caused just as much hurt.

8.) Did you or do you ever think of suicide as a solution? Yes but suicide is never the solution. It's a cop out... A cowards way of running away from the problems you cannot or will not face. You end up causing more pain to those that love you and now make them wonder if they were the cause of your demise. Its a sad thing to think about taking your life, but you need to try and seek out help in any fashion you can. So if your thinking of doing yourself in, DON'T! Personally I thought of doing this again just recently as I was very down. I wrote two letter's 1 to my family and one to two of my friends. Why didn't I do it? I decided that I couldn't do it, I decided to see if the hard times would pass and they did the next day. Sure they came back a week latter but only for a day. I was surprised that only 1 person in my life read between the lines to figure out what I was thinking. She is an incredible person and now if I get that low I'm calling her, as she read me and warned me and chastised me for thinking what I was thinking of doing. I love you T. You can be my rock if you don't mind.

9.) Do you believe you lived a previous life? Yes, both male and female. in many time's in history

10.) If there was a way to change your gender so that you could be a genetic female do you think you would do it and try and give birth? Yes I think I would. I think women are lucky to get to experience child birth even though for males to know what it feels like we would need to try and give birth to a softball out of our penis OUCH!

11.) You say that you like to play Pen and Paper games like Dungeons and Dragons. Do you think D&D made you transgendered? I laugh every time I hear this one. NO. It did help me express the female in me as I have played nothing but female characters for 13 years now.. with the exception of 1 character I have now in a friends game. And NO I do not live in a fantasy world i.e. Rona Jaffe's Mazes and Monsters staring Tom Hanks.

12.) If you could do any job in the world what would you like to do? Be a Successful Heavy metal singer... LOL mundane job? Archeology has been an interest for a long time and I think it would be cool to go on a dig to some ancient place. I also think it would be cool to help people so maybe the Therapy/Medical field would be a nice choice.

13.) Are those your eye's, contacts, or image enhancements on the main picture? Those are in fact my eyes. Yes they are that blue. I have been told they are my best feature, those and my eye lashes. I do however wear contacts but they are just plain old clear, non-color enhancing ones.

14.) Do you plan on having FFS? I would love to have FFS and I would most likely go to Dr Zakowski. I cannot however afford the cost to do FFS, so it will have to wait a long time or until I win the lotto... yeah right. If I had to chose between FFS and GRS I would take GRS hands down. FFS can always wait. But then again...

15.) Your a musician, what equipment do you use? My one and only guitar is a Charvel model 2. Its pretty much stock except for the Fender trim setter in the back for the whammy bar. For amps I use a Marshall JCM-800 Lead Series amp plugged into a Peavey Sheffield 4x12 stereo cabinet. I also use a Peavey VTM 120 with a Peavey VTM cabinet with 4X12 Celetian's speakers. For effects I use a Peavey Pro-Fex II guitar signal processor with the foot controller attached. This allows me to change to a drop D tuning with having to re-tune my guitar. In the past I have used a Charvel Model 375 Deluxe, a Gibson Les Paul, a Yamaha guitar, A Weston Neo-Space age explorer guitar, A Yamaha Bass, and a Epiphone Bass along with a Peavey bass cabinet. A Korg Polly 800 mk. II keyboard and a Digitech drum machine. I also have had Peavey 24 channel PA systems, and Soundtech PA speaker enclosures.

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